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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29142936">the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/takethebreadsticksandRUN/pseuds/takethebreadsticksandRUN'>takethebreadsticksandRUN</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adam isn't dating Blue anymore, EXTREMELY OVER THE TOP RELIGIOUS IMAGERY, Give Adam Parrish Nice Things 2k21, Let Ronan Lynch Be A Bastard 2k21, M/M, Mutual Pining, Teasing, When Does This Take Place?, adam has a thing for ronan's hands, adam's pining is to repress everything until he dies, but like, but when ronan lynch pines, don't we all, gansey i love you but i cannot write you for the life of me, he deserves it, i am but the vessel for symbolism and layered symbolism, i just am revolted by the idea of creating words you would say, idk man try not to think too hard about it, it's everybody's problem then, let me be clear-, let me have this, my first offering for this fandom after lurking here for several months, no beta we die like gansey, ronan is a tease, so gay lads so gay, that's who i am lads, then oh boy, think of it as an alternate first kiss for pynch, this is ninety percent out of control prose, we all knew it was coming, you wear boat shoes i mean come on you gotta work with me here</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:13:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,881</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29142936</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/takethebreadsticksandRUN/pseuds/takethebreadsticksandRUN</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam Parrish had a problem. Well, he had several problems, most of them involving other people or their feelings or both, but normally, not himself. He didn’t cause problems, he solved them. Other people’s feelings were messy, they were loud, they were something he was determined never to touch.<br/>At least, that was what yesterday-Adam had thought. Today, sitting in Nino’s with Blue at the entrance and Gansey sitting next to him and Noah laughing in the window seat and Ronan-<br/>And Ronan.<br/>That’s where his problem lay. It curled in the wicked slant of Ronan's mouth, the easy way he swore like a prayer, like a promise, like something to be set to music and sung in the chapel of a bedroom. His problem was Ronan’s hair, Ronan’s eyes, Ronan’s hands, his hands, maybe not just these parts of Ronan but all of him, from the black wings inked on his shoulderblades that begged to be touched to the hard lines of his body. </p><p>OR</p><p>adam is struggling not to do something impulsive like kiss ronan and damn is it hard when ronan is just so Pretty</p><p>NOW WITH A CHAPTER TWO- </p><p>Adam had never been so hungry.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>155</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. part one- the lunch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello hello hello! this is my first work for this fandom, by no means my first fanfic (i've written quite a lot for tma so if that's your thing i gotchu). please let me know what you think! this was partially inspired by a fanart i saw that literally made my heart leap to my thoat because of the sheer sexiness of it and for the life of me i Cannot find it. in essence ronan was chewing on his leather bracelets and that alone was so attractive i blacked out and wrote this.<br/>i, too, have a thing for hands, so this was basically me pining for no one in particular and projecting it onto fictional characters. what are they, except vessels for unrestrained emotion anyway?<br/>title from take me to church by Hozier because that is the only way i title things now<br/>enjoy!<br/>xxx</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Adam Parrish had a problem. Well, he had several problems, most of them involving other people or their feelings or both, but normally, not himself. He didn’t cause problems, he solved them. Other people’s feelings were messy, they were loud, they were something he was determined never to touch.</p><p>            At least, that was what yesterday-Adam had thought. Today, sitting in Nino’s with Blue at the entrance and Gansey sitting next to him and Noah laughing in the window seat and Ronan-</p><p>            And Ronan.</p><p>            That’s where his problem lay. It curled in the wicked slant of Ronan's mouth, the easy way he swore like a prayer, like a promise, like something to be set to music and sung in the chapel of a bedroom. His problem was Ronan’s hair, Ronan’s eyes, Ronan’s hands, <em>his hands</em>, maybe not just these parts of Ronan but all of him, from the black wings inked on his shoulderblades that begged to be touched to the hard lines of his body.</p><p>            Ronan was the problem. Maybe he was the solution, maybe Adam was the problem, maybe he hadn’t been to church enough lately and some vengeful god decided to send him an angel, a devil to tempt him, a commandment to look, to worship, to turn knees to holy altars and pretend like he deserved salvation.</p><p>            It was getting difficult to ignore the stirrings in his stomach, the way his tongue glued itself to the roof of his mouth whenever he spoke. Adam was supposed to be better than this. He was supposed to have been in love with Blue, but he hadn’t been any good at having a girlfriend, he knew that. His feelings for her burned his fingertips. That’s how he thought it was supposed to be.</p><p>            But now, he was sitting across from an angry boy with more scars than friends and he wondered if maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t meant to hold Blue at all, to hold capital H Her, the Her in his future, the housewife to his picket-fence dreams.</p><p>            Ronan laughed at something Gansey said and Adam can’t think of anything except <em>I’ll be the sinner to your saint, the devil to your god if only you’ll build me a home and call it a temple. </em></p><p>The sunlight streamed through the grimy window, lighting up the corner booth like a stage, like a scene out of a dream, like a spotlight on all the reasons Adam was still alive.</p><p>            Ronan leaned forward, elbows on the table, his chin cupped on one palm, the leather bands that he always wore spiraling on his wrist. He had a habit of fidgeting with them constantly, wearing at the edges, arranging and rearranging them, stacking them in no particular order.</p><p>            It drove Adam crazy. Sometimes- and he had to be doing this unconsciously, if Ronan knew what it did to Adam…well, he wouldn’t put it past him- Ronan would twist the leather between his fingers, flexing them slightly, just enough that the veins protruded from his hands.</p><p>            Yep, Adam had officially lost any semblance of sense.</p><p>            “…Adam. Hello, earth to Adam Parrish!”</p><p>            Gansey was waving a hand in front of his eyes, and judging by the way the rest of them were staring at him, had been saying his name for a while now.</p><p>            “Yes?” he said, his voice coming out a little rougher than he had intended.</p><p>            Noah snorted, turning back to staring out the window.</p><p>            Ronan smiled crookedly, still leaning on his palms. “Staring at the lovely Miss Sargent in her work apron? I didn’t think you were into that, but to each his own, I guess.” Something in his words sounded pained, hiding beneath the teasing current.</p><p>            Gansey flinched.</p><p>            “No, pervert, I’m not- we aren’t-“ He fumbled for the right words. “Uh…that’s not- I mean, I don’t.” Adam gave up as Ronan collapsed into raucous laughter, harsh like everything about him, and Gansey smiled tightly.</p><p>            “Shit, Parrish, I was just teasing,” he said, wiping a tear from his eye. “But it was worth it to see you so flustered.”</p><p>            “You do look kind of adorable when you’re embarrassed,” Gansey confirmed grimly, like he was delivering a deathly diagnosis, which in a way he was.</p><p>            “Stop,” he groaned. “You guys are the worst.”</p><p>            They all laughed at that, Noah’s hollow chuckle layered with Gansey’s full, delighted laugh and Ronan’s almost-surprised sound, like every time something amusing came along he didn’t expect it.</p><p>            Adam slumped forward, resting his chin on the table, heedless of the grease, trying to look offended. Gansey patted him on the back. “Don’t be such a sour Samuel, it’s a compliment.”</p><p>            “A compliment?” He was incredulous as he spoke, “Do you want me to grow out some pigtails to match all this adorableness? Start speaking with a lisp?”</p><p>            Ronan met his eyes, steady and unmoving, making Adam flush. “Just take the compliment, drama queen.”</p><p>            Adam sighed. “Fine, fine.”</p><p>            Ronan smiled and he felt a burning in his gut, something that told him he was dancing on a tightrope over flaming coals, juggling fire and swallowing swords under the moon with no audience but himself. He would do anything to get a smile like that again, and <em>man, he had it bad. </em></p><p>Adam wondered how much longer he could live like this. A problem was something he could work with, but this was rapidly becoming a national disaster.</p><p>            Gansey was talking now, saying something that was probably important in its mundanity, but Adam couldn’t focus on what he was saying, letting the words wash over him. Ronan’s eyes followed Gansey’s animated movements, the way he gestured with his hands, and Adam <em>knew </em>it was stupid to be jealous, but he couldn’t help it.</p><p>            Then his eyes flicked to Adam and he forgot how to breathe again, how to do anything but want and want and want so achingly it split him open, raw and bloody.</p><p>            Ronan must’ve seen something in his face because he grinned, a secret between the two of them, and went back to fidgeting with his leather bracelet, seemingly unable to hold still for longer than a few seconds at a time.</p><p>            Then he let his chin drop lower against his palm and very deliberately nibbled on the edge of the topmost band, playing with it between his teeth, the tip of his tongue darting out briefly, his lips red against the tan.</p><p>            Adam blinked, the picture of Ronan’s face burned into his eyelids. When he opened them again, Ronan was looking away, still gently biting the bracelet, seemingly absentmindedly, as he often fiddled with them, but the corner of his mouth quirked up when he saw Adam’s look of shock.</p><p>            Gansey stretched, oblivious to the scene playing out in front of him. “I’ve got to get back and finish up some stuff before school tomorrow, but you all are welcome to stay.”</p><p>            Noah got up as Gansey did. “I’ll go with you, otherwise I won’t have a way to get back home. There is <em>no way </em>I’m driving with you-“ He pointed at Ronan, who winked. “-and I don’t want to make Adam drive me home.”</p><p>            He started to disagree, but Gansey cut across him. “Fantastic. See you in a bit, then.”</p><p>            Noah followed him out of Nino’s, the bell tinkling as the door closed.</p><p>            Ronan leaned back against the seat, a king on a tacky red throne. He brought his fingers to his mouth, brushing his thumb back and forth across his lips.</p><p>            Adam groaned again and closed his eyes.</p><p>            “What’s got your goat, Parrish?” His voice was undeniably smug.</p><p>            It took all he had not to lunge across the table and either kiss the idiot or smack him. Maybe both. “You know full well what it is,” he growled.</p><p>            “Yeah, like fuck I do.”</p><p>            Adam looked up, glaring. “There is no way you don’t know what you’re doing,” he said flatly.</p><p>            Ronan looked undeniably smug. “Doing what?”</p><p>            Adam really needed to find better friends, to be around someone who wasn’t hellbent on ruining him. Ronan was going to be the death of him, and the worst part was he would probably die happy.</p><p>            “I can’t believe you. Even for you, Lynch, this is low.”</p><p>            “Adam Parrish, I have <em>no </em>idea what you’re talking about.”</p><p>            “The- the thing you keep doing! With your bracelets! And your mouth!” he exploded, not pausing to measure his words like he normally did, not realizing how strange they sounded out loud.</p><p>            Ronan burst into laughter. “Education was wasted on you.”</p><p>            “<em>You know what I mean</em>.”</p><p>            “And what if I do?”</p><p>            “Than you’re even more of a bastard than I thought you were,” he spat.</p><p>            “I’m flattered. If this is how you talked to Blue, no wonder you two didn’t work out.”</p><p>            Adam sat up. “That wasn’t why,” he said quietly.</p><p>            Ronan tried to look unconcerned and failed miserably. “Why, then?”</p><p>            “I- I wasn’t what she needed, and she wasn’t what I wanted.”</p><p>            It’s the truth, a version of it, the version that he can swallow, the pill that puts him to sleep at night, the poison that keeps him breathing.</p><p>            “Then what,” Ronan said slowly, “Do you want?”</p><p>            <em>You. All of you, every part of you, in so many ways that I can’t keep track of them, counting the places I’ve dreamed of kissing you on my fingers and then on the stars, I want you, Ronan Lynch</em>.</p><p>            But he didn’t say it. He just shook his head.</p><p>            Ronan grinned, going back to nibbling on his bracelets, watching Adam’s face carefully. “Then this shouldn’t bother you,” he said. He licked his lips, tracing the line of his mouth once, then he bit his lip. “Or this.” Ronan tapped his lips with his fingertips, separating them slightly.</p><p>            Adam was dead. He clenched his mouth shut to keep himself from making an obscene noise.</p><p>            “Or this,” he continued, leaning across the table, brushing a stray curl off Adam’s forehead, his fingers lingering as his voice went low and gravelly. “Does it bother you?”</p><p>            He screwed his eyes shut so he wouldn’t have to look Ronan in the eye. “Yes,” he bit out. “But- but not like that.”</p><p>            Ronan’s hand was still hovering near his face. Adam braced himself, wishing he could do what he wanted and hating himself at the same time for it, and settled for jumping off a cliff instead.</p><p>            He reached out and gently curled his fingers around Ronan’s wrist, feeling his pulse jump beneath his skin and feeling a similar spark in himself.</p><p>            “Then what are you going to do about it?”</p><p>            Adam groaned at the tone of Ronan’s voice. “Oh, you cheeky little -“</p><p>            Knowing there were people around, people he didn’t know (didn’t trust), there was only so much he could do.</p><p>            Feeling like the world was made of shattered glass, he carefully brought Ronan’s hand to his mouth and pressed his lips to the knob of his wrist, to the ridges of his knuckles, the sensitive skin at the underside of his forearm.</p><p>            “That,” he whispered, inches away from his skin. “I’ll do that.”</p><p>            Ronan didn’t say anything. Adam realized what he had just done and made to release him, terrified he had crossed some invisible boundary that months of friendly then not-so-friendly flirting and teasing had set.</p><p>            “You don’t have to stop.”</p><p>            He looked up sharply, hardly daring to hope. “There are so many people here-“</p><p>            Ronan rolled his eyes. “Then let’s go somewhere else.”</p><p>            The way he said it made it sound so simple, so easy, not like Adam’s world had just reshaped itself in Ronan’s image, thoughts swirling and twisting, only one thing clear-</p><p>            <em>Maybe this is okay. Maybe I can have this. Maybe-</em></p><p>Ronan took him by the hand and pulled him out of the Nino's, the grounding warmth of his hand in Adam’s the only thing keeping him from floating away.</p><p>            Ronan, it turned out, wasn’t the problem or even the solution, but he was some kind of gritty savior in the alley behind the restaurant, his lips the closest thing Adam would ever come to heaven.</p><p>           </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. part two- the meal ;)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adam had never been so hungry.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH! i had never anticipated the reception that the first chapter got, you guys made me CRY with your lovely comments, y'all are the absolute best and i love you mwah&lt;3<br/>so<br/>a few people requested a chapter two, so i was absolutely over the moon to hear that. here is a follow-up, set literal seconds after the first chapter ended! i hope you enjoy, and again, i am consumed with self-doubt and the fear of being known but i Need Validation<br/>enjoy!<br/>xxx</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Adam’s skin felt like it was on fire. He wondered if this was what hell would feel like- warmth spreading across his back and stomach and down to his fingers, tingling closer and closer to the edge of something dangerous. He closed his eyes, hoping against hope his prayers hadn’t been in vain.</p><p>            When he opened them again, Ronan was still standing in front of him, that smile cutting across his face and into Adam’s heart.</p><p>            He felt a teetering, dizzy kind of happiness- the way you might feel when the ground disappears from beneath your feet but somehow, <em>somehow, </em>you are still standing and your legs are shaking.</p><p>            Outside was bright, as the days tend to be right after lunch, but Adam knew most of the light was coming from the boy next to him, radiating off his skin and his stupid smirk and dancing from his wrists like holy sunbeams, like the halos on chapel ceilings, like he always was supposed to.  </p><p>            Adam was the night sky, the burnt-out streetlamp, a sob in a dark room when there are too many people who are not listening. Something inside him was broken, is broken, had always been broken and always will be, but for just a moment he felt like maybe, just maybe, the blood might wash out of his clothes.</p><p>            One day. One day.</p><p>            “Do I have something on my face, Parrish?”</p><p>            Ronan’s voice was sickly sweet, the kind of sweet where he wanted you to hurt with how gently he was touching you, and Adam swore there was a laugh hiding in the valleys of his words.</p><p>            He shook his head, numb with feeling everything at once, and Ronan rolled his eyes.</p><p>            “Idiot. Do you want to do this or not?”</p><p>            He took a step closer, looking like something resembling nervousness, and Adam felt time slow down around him. He was watching the world end, crashing and burning before his eyes in slow motion, the disaster to end all playing out before his eyes.</p><p>            All he had to do was say no. All he had to do was shake his head and Ronan would leave him alone, would let him stay behind Nino’s, untouched.</p><p>            It was that thought (<em>untouched untouched untouched</em>) that reminded him how much he had been <em>wanting, </em>hungry for a taste of Ronan, starving for a moment where he was free. Where he was saved.</p><p>            Adam smiled back, feeling a savage sort of pleasure at the pain in his chest as his heart sped up, climbing into the hollows of his throat and threatening to come spilling out into his hands, onto Ronan’s shoes.</p><p>            “Yes,” he breathed, desperate with unkowing. “Please.”</p><p>            Ronan laughed and that sound alone drove a nails through Adam’s palms, the cross rigid against his back. He was the sacrifice, the sinner, the unredeemable. He had never felt so close to god.</p><p>            “Damn, Lynch, you sound eager.” Ronan looked him up and down slowly, tantalizingly, and Adam felt fire crawling up his spine, urging him toward the precipice of Ronan Lynch.</p><p>            He shivered. “Yeah, well…” He licked his lips, his mouth a sandy desert for the forgotten thoughts to wander in, blind.</p><p>            Ronan’s eyes followed the minute movement like a hawk, like something wanting, like something sick of being hungry. “Don’t let me keep you, then.”</p><p>            Adam reached out and grabbed Ronan’s wrist- Prometheus seizing fire from the gods, stealing the divine- and pulled him into the shadows that still hid behind the brick walls. Every thought of where they were vanished from his mind. Adam forgot that they were behind a cheap diner, he forgot that they were in broad daylight, he forgot that he wasn’t supposed to be feeling like this, and for the first time in his life, he forgot about the demons keeping him company in the closet.</p><p>            All he knew was all he needed. He was just a boy who wanted another boy, he was the sky reaching for the earth, he was immortal and impossibly giddy.</p><p>            Adam paused, inches from Ronan’s skin, not enough room for Jesus but nowhere near close enough.</p><p>            “Is this alright?” He could feel the warmth of his breath ghosting off Ronan’s skin, could almost feel skin against his lips as he whispered into the tenderness of his neck, not daring to press any closer but <em>wanting </em>so badly it felt like thorns growing from his body.</p><p>            In response, Ronan growled, “If you don’t kiss me senseless right now, Adam, you <em>will </em>regret it.”</p><p>            That was all he needed. Adam surged forward, reveling in the outline of Ronan’s body against his, pressing every inch of him into the brick and sealing their mouths together.</p><p>            Adam had often wondered how god had simply spoken a word and brought the world into existence. How could one being have that much power, but he supposed that was the whole point of having a heaven and a hell- to harness that and channel it into creating something beautiful and twisted. It didn’t make sense, didn’t seem possible, but that was faith required so he paid his dues of disbelief and quiet suffering.</p><p>            But now…now he knew how one mouth could draw the stars from their sleeping places, how a single breath could give an entire world certainty, existence, <em>meaning</em>.</p><p>            Ronan kissed like someone who had forgotten how to be anything but alive. He pulled Adam in closer, hands on his hips like Atlas cradling the world, like a blessing on some holy mistake. He gently bit down on Adam’s lip, tasting the sacrament of his unwilling moan.</p><p>            Adam couldn’t categorize the things he was feeling, but there were sunbursts on his eyelids and maybe he was made for this, maybe he was made to sing praises from the back of his throat, maybe he was made not to speak in tongues, but to feel another’s against his own.</p><p>            Ronan pulled back, breathing hard.</p><p>            A part of Adam knew he needed to stop for a moment, if only for a moment, just to catch enough breath as not to suffocate in the pleasure of it all, but the more primal part of him spoke up, almost whining, “Why’d you stop?”</p><p>            Ronan snorted. “Because I can’t fucking breathe, that’s why.” He stared at Adam, his eyes dark and wide. “Is this-“ He laughed, tilting his head back to the sky and rubbing a hand across his face, exposing the line of his throat.</p><p>            Adam wanted to press his lips to the angles of his Adam’s apple, his collarbones, the pulse racing just below his jaw.</p><p>            “Is this what?” he asked, eager to get back to kissing and salvation and feeling his skin was about to become something worth wanting.</p><p>            “Is this real? I mean, is this happening?”</p><p>            Adam didn’t reply. He cupped Ronan’s neck in his hand, pulling him to meet his lips again, kissing him for all he was worth. His hands trailed across Ronan’s arms, tracing secrets into his skin, unable to believe that he was able to do this, that he was allowed, no, <em>encouraged</em>, to do so, at least judging by the enthusiasm with which Ronan was leaning into his mouth.</p><p>            Adam traced the line of his teeth with his tongue, Ronan shuddering beneath him. He pulled back slightly and pressed a trail of kisses down his cheekbones to his ear, gently sucking the lobe into his mouth.</p><p>            Ronan groaned and he felt a hot bolt of pride strike through him, knowing that he, Adam, was the reason for it.</p><p>            With a sudden movement, Adam found himself spun around and Ronan was pressing him into the wall, devouring him. He kissed Adam’s neck, his cheeks, his nose, breath hot and eager against his skin.</p><p>            “You,” he said in between kisses, “are so <em>damn </em>attractive.”</p><p>            Adam made a noise somewhere between disbelief, shock, and urging Ronan not to stop.</p><p>            “Sounds like you don’t believe me,” he murmured, voice low. “I’ll just have to convince you then, won’t I?”</p><p>            Adam had never felt like this before. He was a broken thing in someone else’s hands, and that didn’t change when he was with Ronan, but he felt like the parts of that were shattered, gaping, twisted- they were all a part of him and as a whole, <em>yes, he could be whole</em>, being broken might not be so bad.</p><p>            After a while, their passion began to ebb and the kisses they traded were something more tender, more gentle. Adam smiled at Ronan, drinking in the sight of his flushed cheeks, lips swollen and red, eyes slightly hazy.</p><p>            “I, uh-“ he began, not sure of what he wanted to say but knowing that he wanted to say <em>something</em>, to tell Ronan that this wasn’t just an experiment or confusion, but this was real as gospel and possibly more important.</p><p>            Ronan smirked at him. “Cat got your tongue?”</p><p> </p><p>            “No, I think you do,” he said, and Ronan burst into gut-wrenching laughter.</p><p>            “Guess I do. Didn’t know you were into guys.” Ronan said this like one might mention the weather, off-handedly, like it was something unimportant to be discussed with the possibility that it might rain tomorrow, when instead Adam’s world had just been shaken to the very core and he <em>liked </em>it.</p><p>            Adam gaped at him in shock. “Did that not convince you?” he asked. “Did my giving you a literal <em>hickey </em>not convince you I liked guys?”</p><p>            Ronan rubbed the spot on his neck, half a smile on his face. “Of course it did, dipshit, but it…was just surprising, that’s all.”</p><p>            Adam rolled his eyes, a feeling light as a summer’s evening bubbling in his chest. He took Ronan’s hand, kissing the back of it. “Then I’m about to knock your socks off- I like you, Ronan Lynch.”</p><p>            “What? No way! I had no idea, you staring at me during lunch like you wanted to eat me whole gave me absolutely <em>zero </em>hints that you might have a crush on me-“ Ronan looked at him, not like he had hung the moon, but like he had stolen the stars just for the two of them. “I kinda figured that one on my own. I like you too.”</p><p>            There was a seismic shift in the geography of Adam’s brain happening, his future re-shaping itself around boys and Ronan and not being hungry anymore, but at the center of it was the unbearable sappiness of it all- <em>I like you</em>.</p><p>            He took a deep breath, noticing how even the air around Ronan seemed to taste different, somehow, like how home feels like home even when you didn’t grow up there. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” he asked.</p><p>            Ronan squeezed his hand. “Sure. But only if you’ll go out with me.”</p><p>            Adam grinned wide enough to swallow the sun and somewhere in there was a metaphor, something to explain how Ronan was safety, was the ground Adam stood on, was the anchor he had been reaching for all his life like humanity searched for the divine, but he was buzzed and high on feeling alive and that was all that mattered.</p><p>            “It’s a deal.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yah i know it's not canon but hey i just think this is neat<br/>please let me know what you think! comments absolutely make my day and i love hearing from you! (also if i made any mistakes lmk, this is not beta read because i'm not a coward)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry if it's a little ooc, i wrote this in a haze and i am Incapable of editing. if i made a mistake please lmk!<br/>if you leave a comment telling me your favorite part i will transcend this mortal body and give you a spirit smooch on the cheek</p></blockquote></div></div>
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